What To Do To Help Children Not To Fight
My boys had a punch up today. There you go, I said it. Now you know that my kids are not perfect. But remember, we can’t always control what our kids say or do. But we sure can control our reactions to it.
I was in the kitchen when I heard some language that wasn’t allowed in our house. I walked into the lounge and one of my boys had another boy in a head lock, and the other one was on top of someone. For those of you who only have girls, you will never understand. This is definitely a “boy” thing. However, I’m not saying that this is acceptable behavior.
Sam was choking so I quickly separated the boys. Then I was given a barrage of “he did this then I did this and he did this…” My mind was spinning as I was trying to figure out the best way to deal with this violence. the boys all went to their rooms and I went to see each boy separately to get the story about what had gone down.
Three different versions… hmmm.. I should have guessed. OK, what to do now…
Now the boys picked a bad time to have their fight as I had earlier on that morning given them permission to organize sleepovers at it was the school holidays. I felt for the kids and I told them that they would have to postpone their sleepovers. Then I decided to hatch a plan… so I went out for an hour and them home alone.
Actually, I was hoping that my kids would think about their behavior and do something while I was out to make up for their bad choices. I was just giving them an opportunity to right things. As it was school holidays I wanted to try to extend a little grace to them.
Well, as I pulled up in the driveway I could hear the vacuum going. As I walked into the kitchen there was one boy furiously washing dishes as if his life depended on it. And the third boy was tidying in the lounge. Now that is what I was hoping for.
Now here is where we as parents need to learn to extend grace to your children. Sure, I could have stood my ground and canceled the sleepovers. But when my kids show me that they are sorry for their actions and try to make amends I like to extend a bit of grace towards them.
My kids were very grateful that I went back on my consequence and gave them another chance. and they know that if that happens again they will not be so lucky and the punishment will be more severe. But mum is hoping that there won’t be another time.
